Wednesday, December 11, 2013

If You're Right And You're Rude - You're Wrong

Something I've been thinking about lately - what to do when someone is rude to you... how do you respond in a situation like that?  It happens a lot - at least I see it happen a lot, especially working in retail.  Retail's motto tends to be that the customer is always right.  Well, if you're right and you're rude, you're wrong.  When someone is nasty to me just because they think that is their right, it makes me so mad.  It's like a switch is flipped and I have a very hard time smiling and holding my tongue.  Well, there was an incident with a customer at my job the other night, and I just couldn't sit back and pretend like how she was acting was ok.  I told her right then and there, that she was going to have to wait her turn, that I was trying to help the other customers ahead of her, and if and when she returns to the store to please not act like that again.  Then I just turned around and walked away.  I have to say - it felt REALLY good.  I was not rude in return - I just said what needed to be said.  If you let people walk all over you, they are going to do just that.  Ok, not everyone - but you know what I'm saying.  Don't treat me poorly because you feel like you can.  And I totally understand that I had no idea what kind of day she just had... which is why I was very civil.  Sometimes you just gotta let someone know that they are being an ass.  It's easier if you are friends or family maybe - maybe they will take it better, maybe not.  I've told my husband many times when we are having "discussions" to just let me know (in a nice way) that I am acting crazy.  Sometimes I get frustrated with people, things, whatever.  I need to vent sometimes... Well, my venting can turn into shouting, and my poor  husband feels like he's the one being yelled at.  Which is totally not the case.  But it's not ok for me to make him feel bad because I need to vent.  So I've told him to just stop me and say - babe, you're yelling at me again.  haha

But do you see what I mean?  It's ok to be angry, frustrated, upset - whatever.  But it's NOT ok to treat people like crap in the process.  So this is fair warning... If you are having a bad day - or not - and you see me and are mean to me or someone near me, I WILL confront you.  If you're ok with that, then bring it on - if you're not, then please take a few deep breaths.  It will all be ok.

Would love to hear how others deal with this?

-M

2 comments :

Tina said...

Well, I totally get what you're saying; I'm in retail. Have been; forever. It happens all the time. Just because you wear the uniform it automatically means that you are these "mean" customers slave. You are automatically lower on the totem pole; they can speak to you in whatever tone they want.
I have been in these situations more time than I want to count. I have lost my temper. I have yelled back.
But we are to show Christ through us. That is hard. Lately, I just smile; and I really mean it. And I try to find common ground and just start a conversation. "I really love your purse" (even if I don't.). I"I love the color of your nails", etc. It really brightens their face. They soften. Mikey recently told me "Mom, people who are mean just don't have any friends and maybe I need to be their friend". Are we going to be these customers friends? Probably not. Are they going to stop being mean? Maybe not; but lashing back will never work. I have never seen it work. They now just think you are a crazy mad person.
Should people be rude? No! Should someone tell them to stop? Sure; maybe this is a good time to look around and when we see someone else be mean to someone WE speak up. It would have been so much more powerful if the other ppl in line would have said to her "she hasn't done anything wrong to you, and you aren't being very nice to her. She is being very helpful".
And I really don't think doing it in front of other people is ever good; I think if you grinned and bared it and did everything she asked with a smile even if it was "absolutely after I help these ppl", the ppl around would have thought YOU on a higher level.
Will I yell back again? Sure! Sometimes I don't have the patience to deal with it and I don't deserve it, but I don't think it is the best option.

michelle whittall said...

Just to clarify here... I was not advocating rudeness. It's never ok to treat people poorly no matter what you are dealing with. Everyone deserves a smile and to be treated with respect. Some people are going to treat you and others bad no matter what - what's important is how you respond.

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